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I have arrived here in the USA, it's been a long month, and it's been eye opening and sad at times as well as enlightening and happy. Leah has been a godsend here, she has watched me cry, laugh and sing, but she knows when i am hiding myself behind all the things i find to do around here, which is a lot! So stuff is changing and it's hard to say for the better..but it's ok, it is what's supposed to happen when one comes "home, per se. Weird living with my father after leaving home at 18, getting married, having children, getting divorced, moving to another country, getting remarried and then coming back...they say that we come full circle, well it seems that way atm, but more so with my dad.
Dad needs to find a balance in his life, an anchor in the sea, i guess since I'm the ship, it stands to reason that i have the task, not one that i mind, but it is not going to be easy because he has lost some of his marbles...and one needs ALL of them to live properly and effectively in this jungle of a world! What has been happening in the last few weeks is getting to know each other again, all of us, so it's not just that I have been having lots of emotions from my dad, but also from me and my kids, they have not seen me in so long i was not sure how to act around them, but we got back into the silly rhythm that always made me smile and feel proud! I just miss my Harry to much, i want to see more of him but things are not easy on THAT home front, i will have to work on that one myself a bit more when i have the time:(
Today i was thinking about Leah and the things that dad says when he is out with folks, to make us laugh...Dad and I were sitting down and having lunch at the USAF base where he shops for food, (cheaper there, no tax) and while we were eating a couple sat a few tables across from us and the woman was wearing a large black plastic hoodie coat, well dad comes out and says, "Hey, look that lady is wearing a big plastic rubbish bag on her body" oh man i was trying really hard not to spit out my hot dog that i was eating....it was so funny he knew it too!! wish i had my camera with me i could have taken a photo of it for you!
There is so much i could say but I'll save that for another day, all in all dad is doing OK, but I have to hold his hand lots of the time, and he forgets allot of things, most important things like doctors appointment's and paying his bills, but I have been trying to make it easier for him to deal with things because he tends to have a short fuse at the best of times, I just hope i can come up with some easy things for him to do so he won't want to do those things which he can't.
